Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Tears at the gym.

If you know me, you know that I am a crier. Happy, sad, mad, whatever the occasion, I'll probably cry. I have been this way my whole life. Once I hit middle school I pretty much got a grip on the water works, but there are still times I lose control. Like today... Today was my reassessment at the gym. That means tape measures, scales, nifty BMI readers, and physically lifting to see if I've improved. Along with all this great fun, my trainer went over my food journal with me (last weeks homework). So, after all the measuring and food critiquing it was time to lift. My tear ducts had other plans... I broke down right in the middle of the gym. It was like the weight of the past few months were crushing me and I had had enough. To be working so, so hard and still be so far away from where I'd like to be just got the best of me. So there I am, crying like a baby in the gym... Feeling so defeated. Then realizing that I AM THAT GIRL CRYING AT THE GYM. I started to cry harder, out of embarrassment. It's a really vicious cycle. My trainer sweetly calmed me down. He assured me he'd help me get to where I want to be. I cried it out and moved on. After my workout I realized I'm only defeated when I say I am. And right now, I am no where close to throwing in the towel. Today was a mere bump in the road. A bump I was bound to hit sooner or later. If anything, I have realized just how much this whole journey means to me and how damn bad I want it. So, if you are reading this and have hit that bump, cry it out and move on. The road gets smoother, I promise. 

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